The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
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