btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
