hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
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