He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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