never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Randomize
