On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
We are all done wearing pants today
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
Randomize
