i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
I checked into jail on foursquare
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
