i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
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