Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
where are you?
Hypothermia
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Randomize
