just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
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