my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Randomize
