just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
Mom said you looked used
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
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