I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
