Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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