you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
i used baking grease as lip gloss
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
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