I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
tell me about the eggs
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
Randomize
