sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize
