next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Randomize
