i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
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