beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
Randomize
