i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize