id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
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