THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
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