True or false: I did not bring home a 28 year old last night.
True? Did she teach you things?
She taught me the meaning of awkward goodbyes at 530 am.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
PANTIES FOUND
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