I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
Randomize
