some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
Randomize
