I forgot how hot balto sounded
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
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