She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
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