I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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