And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
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