What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
Randomize
