How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
i don't plan on having that self control this summer
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
Randomize