Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
please come you make the beer taste better
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
