I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
