Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
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