If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
Four minutes until I can fart!
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
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