a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
Randomize
