Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
Just woke up in bed, AC on high, with a fresh pack of smokes, an unopened pint of vodka, and a bag w a beef patty w cheese in it. I think my roommate's like the toothfairy or something. Or that was way more Xanax than I needed.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
Randomize
