I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Randomize
