Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
Randomize
