ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
