right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
Randomize