Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
Im part way to drunk.
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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