she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
My girlfriend figured out who you are.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize