so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
Actions speak louder than pants.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize
