dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
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