it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
Randomize
