he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
There's always time for handjobs
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Randomize
