There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
Randomize
