Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
