You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
Randomize
