I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Randomize
