you're like a bully in the Christmas story
That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
How external is "for external use only"?
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize
