we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
Damn victory sex feels great
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Randomize
