man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
Randomize
