I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
Randomize
