the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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