well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
Randomize
