Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
