You made me cry and you don't even care
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
My vagina is very pro this idea
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
