Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
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