Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
Randomize
