just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
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