Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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